My airport (Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson) experience was not horrible. Security took less then ten minutes even with an "incident". Someone shouted what sounded like, "BREACH!" and then the TSA agent at my station shouted for everyone by the conveyor belt to back away from their bags and for everyone to stand still. Moments later a lady said something (we were in a sort of side bit so there was a wall between us and her) about how their was an incident and then some other stuff I couldn't make out. I had a heavy coat and two scarves along with my Awesome (or is this the Fantastic?) Hat along with a net book in my tote and my heavy carry on. In the old days I wouldn't have to be bothered with anything other than my purse and maybe a laptop bag but now it costs to check baggage so carry on it is...not that this would be a problem if I wasn't laden with things for my nephews and niece (including a ginger bread village kit and M&Ms which I could have bought there). But I managed to make it to my gate more than an hour before boarding.
My pilots are "Captain Morgan and First Officer Daniels." I'm not sure if I should take my (hilarious) head Flight Attendant seriously in this manner. She did tell us you can't story your purse (she doesn't care if it's Fendi, Prada, Dolce and Gabana, Louis Vuitton, or something you bought at Wal*Mart) on your husband's head and I'm pretty sure that TSA regulations specifically allow this.